Unfinished : A lost love letter

tiny-black-scroll inverted

Unfinished letters…torn up, discarded. Cities you’ve visited…long forgotten places. The women you’ve loved but love no more. Rooms you’ve peered into through dusty, sun-glared windows but never set foot in. The lingering of inchoate remnants. Moments long since passed that were never quite there to begin with.

For us such things remain an enigma. The words we exchanged were powerful, yet heard by no one. We kept these words like confetti snow—encapsulated—within a dome of glass. Each taking a turn… Shaking, watching, shaking, watching, waiting, hoping… That if the dome fell it would not break but maintain its precious integrity. 

I took a Faustian chance. Not yet sure where it lead me.

The particulars were far from ideal, like a bird building its nest on a six-lane highway, but I was never one to put stock in mainstream cautions nor sensibilities. You felt like destiny wrapped in ecstasy. The manifestation of a passion I longed for, but never thought possible. Yet, you appeared… Or, did you?

At the end, you felt more like a distant dream within an even more distant dream. If one believes in serendipity, then such things are commonplace. I did not create the universe so I do not challenge its orchestrations, especially after meeting you, albeit briefly.

It is said, there are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Some believe everything happens for a reason, but can we truly know what the reasons are? Should we care?

Sometimes you drive at night and the road is calm. You find your way easily by the moon’s reflection in a roadside stream. The white lines ahead strangely luminous, like a mythical path. You think you know exactly where you’re headed, but you quickly find yourself right back where you began. Other times the road is long and dusty, and the sun is too bright. You squint with sweat burning your eyes. Your breaths are labored and shallow. You tire and your throat becomes dry. You want to go back. Then you take a wrong turn that suddenly brings you to a peach stand where you stop and become energized. You make it to your destination with even greater resolve.

My heart was made stronger and weaker because of you. Within this strange dichotomy, love lingers, unfinished…

tiny black scroll

 

words : © 2016 Nena Black

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4 thoughts on “Unfinished : A lost love letter

Add yours

  1. Nena,
    Sadly, and rather pathetically, I can’t say I know about love’s complexity, beauty, etc. I’ve made choices in my life that have brought about the appropriate consequences . . . so I can’t say I even know what love is

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps I should finish that sentence after all, Mickey. I was going to write that for all its beauty (and I’ll add profundity), love can feel so very painful and confusing. I’ve made those choices too, my dear. However, in my opinion, love itself does not cause those kinds of consequences. The image or falsehoods we hold about those we love may. Being the loving person that you are, you definitely know what love is. Now, finding that love in other people, those who are both able to love and be loved, is another thing entirely. Nat King Cole said it best: The greatest thing we’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. ❤️

      Like

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